Trying to get use to the new blogger

I'm trying to get use to all the different kind of blogger right now. Hope you guys will bare with me when I'm trying to do this! I'm wanting to add so much more.

Starting a New Medicine

Austin is starting a new medicine starting today. I am going to go pick it up we've been so busy that we haven't been able to do much outside of the house. We went out to dinner with my husbands family yesterday and it was nice to go out with no issues. We had a fun as a family. We are looking at places as we speak so we will be able to have enough room to do family gatherings together. I can't wait to be able to have our own space!

I'm scared about this medicine and the issues Austin might have. It's scary not knowing what is going to happen to my poor baby. I am putting my child's life in God's hands. The doctors I hope have faith in god and hoping they will be able to keep my son alive. I am scared beyond belief that one day that we will loose Austin. Unless you have been in this situation please do not tell me you know how I feel. Because you don't.

Good Life

I am watching 4 kids now part time for extra money. I am glad that I am able to contribute and also do some online jobs so I can stay home and take care of the kids. Feels so good to be able to help and be able to raise our kids. I hated when our kids had to go to the babysitter and so on. I'm going to start to go to classes soon so I can be a daycare owner in my home officially!

Austin has been having some issues but seems like with his medicine it's helping again. He's finally sleeping and that makes me so happy. He smiled at me today and that made me happy. Tomorrow is my 26th birthday and can't believe I'm 26 almost! 4 more years and I'll be 30! wowzers. We are looking at places now. I can't wait to move!

Christmas is amazing!

Christmas was wonderful! We spent time with Alex's family in the morning and we opened presents and Justin got a horsey that he absoultely loves!

He was such a happy little boy! He loves pretending like he's a cowboy! This is the best christmas gift he got this year. He got a remote control car he got as well that he totally loves. Austin got two gifts that I'm really glad that his grandma jo got (the bean bag chair) and than the mobile my parents got him. Here are some pictures!

Austin actually would look at the projection that it showed! He was following so closely. His eye sight has been so good though which is so amazing!I started to cry so freaking hard when I seen it! I couldn't believe how amazing this one moment could be.

Today is the day after Christmas and after one good day unfortunately today is a bad day. He's been having really bad seizures! I wish there would be a few couple good days that we could have a semi normal life. I wish he wouldn't have to be in pain but seems like that is not going to happen any time soon. I'm hoping 2012 is better than 2011 and 2010. We need some good in our lives.

God is Good

So I've been stressing out about this medicine thing. I thought we weren't going to have to wait a day or two but found some medicine in one of the hospital bags. But they are going send it out to me at 6 pm today! How amazing is that? 

I mean I was so upset and the share program made everything perfect. My little boy is full of the medicine that he needs to keep him healthy. Healthy might not be the same for every child but for my child keeping his seizures semi under control is the best thing that could happen to me. It's not every day that I can say he is semi OK. So now here I am so grateful to the powers above for getting me through this. Thank you for those who have been there for me through the stress, the worry and the pain we've been going through.

I'm so upset I'm in tears

Why does this have to be so difficult? Today or tomorrow we were suppose to get a shipment of Sabril from the pharmacy we've been using called Acrido (sp) and I get a call from them today and they said that they aren't able to send us medicine out because Molina will not allow them to do it any more that the medicine has to go through the Share Program. The share program regulates everything with the medicine since Sabril is very harsh drug and can cause blindness. It was one of our last chances to be able to get him healthy without more Infantile Spasms. 

So now I got to wait till the morning. I got to call the share program and raise hell. Than I got to call in more medicines and get the doctors to send them to the pharmacy and everything is going to hell. I'm getting upset about this and I just want to scream. Why is it so difficult to be able to get my sons much needed medicine to him when he has only one more dose left which is tonight. In hopes of change I will do 5 mL and 5 mLs hoping that I can come up with some miracle.

Friends

I was thinking about this and thought I should write this. TRUE friends are hard to find sometimes. It seems like there are people in your life that are going to lie to you, pretend to like you and just try to compete with you. I'm so sick of those people like that. I know people are going to say that you should allow these people to get out of your life but that's easier said than done. If you think that trying to cut ties off it's easier said than done.

I keep my mouth shut so much with the drama that surrounds certain people. I'm trying to be the grown up in the situation and keep a good face in hope things will turn out better than they are. I want to be a good friend so I'm there no matter what. I'm the one who every one vents to in situations when they need someone. I'm the go to person when things happen and I'm always there trying to help people. But sometimes I wonder if I should even listen. Some people are there simply to take advantage of you.

I'm not saying that all my friends are like this. I'm not saying that at all.

I have some pretty amazing friends that I've met in real life and some that I met on Cafemom. Some people that I am very close to and wish that I met in real life. For those who are there for me all the time thank you. I know some of you listen to my stuff and give me some words of advance and that is a good friend.